Every
happiness has a residue of sadness in it.
This
space has been lying vacant for nearly three months (in fact I
haven't updated it this year). I am a very lazy and scared writer, I
have never felt guilty or whatever it should be for the long gaps in
between posts. I post something here only when I have something
compelling to share and it has become a fully formed piece inside my
head with a beginning, a middle and an end (though it may change
while I’m typing). But, this time it is different, I’ve been
having this urge to write something here without having a clear idea
about what it should be. So, sorry if you find this post incoherent
or simply beyond understanding.
A
few days back someone very close to me was talking about me to a
comparatively new friend of mine; “you won't believe this, Paresh
was very shy and introvert in the past. He would creep inside his
room and shut the door if a new person came visiting,” she said.
But, when a teacher talked about the Paresh of the same period she
had exact opposite memory of me. She described me as very
communicative, aware of the world around and eager to learn new
things. I can't say that one of them is wrong. Both of them are
right, as I remember both facets of my personality very vividly. In
fact I'm still confused whether I'm an extrovert or an introvert, or
just plain and simple crazy, as I love to keep my head dipped in book
for hours as much as I love talking to a friend of same wavelength.
What annoys me is the fact that when someone introduces you as an
introvert or having a secluded personality, it is in the tone of an
accusation as if being introvert is a criminal offence.
One
change that I now realise is that my nervousness in meeting a new
person is drastically reduced as I rarely anyone who can be called a
total stranger as I would've communicated with him/her through sms or
be familiar online. So, you can say that the advancements of the
digital age have helped me to better myself a bit. And, as the cliché
goes; times have changed. So, have I.
If
you are wondering what the title means, maybe it is the brink of
craziness I'm always on between being introvert and being very
communicative.
And,
as for the first sentence, no idea, it was just rolling in my head
for a few days waiting to be written.
