Friday, March 09, 2012

On the brink

Every happiness has a residue of sadness in it.

This space has been lying vacant for nearly three months (in fact I haven't updated it this year). I am a very lazy and scared writer, I have never felt guilty or whatever it should be for the long gaps in between posts. I post something here only when I have something compelling to share and it has become a fully formed piece inside my head with a beginning, a middle and an end (though it may change while I’m typing). But, this time it is different, I’ve been having this urge to write something here without having a clear idea about what it should be. So, sorry if you find this post incoherent or simply beyond understanding.

A few days back someone very close to me was talking about me to a comparatively new friend of mine; “you won't believe this, Paresh was very shy and introvert in the past. He would creep inside his room and shut the door if a new person came visiting,” she said. But, when a teacher talked about the Paresh of the same period she had exact opposite memory of me. She described me as very communicative, aware of the world around and eager to learn new things. I can't say that one of them is wrong. Both of them are right, as I remember both facets of my personality very vividly. In fact I'm still confused whether I'm an extrovert or an introvert, or just plain and simple crazy, as I love to keep my head dipped in book for hours as much as I love talking to a friend of same wavelength. What annoys me is the fact that when someone introduces you as an introvert or having a secluded personality, it is in the tone of an accusation as if being introvert is a criminal offence.

One change that I now realise is that my nervousness in meeting a new person is drastically reduced as I rarely anyone who can be called a total stranger as I would've communicated with him/her through sms or be familiar online. So, you can say that the advancements of the digital age have helped me to better myself a bit. And, as the cliché goes; times have changed. So, have I.

If you are wondering what the title means, maybe it is the brink of craziness I'm always on between being introvert and being very communicative.

And, as for the first sentence, no idea, it was just rolling in my head for a few days waiting to be written.

A couple of similar posts are here and here.