Friday, February 22, 2013


Physical pain becomes second nature once it crosses a limit. You just learn to live with it, it becomes like overgrown fingernails, they don't hamper your capability to work much but their presence is a mild irritant in the back of your mind.

Pain has been my constant companion for me since the time I can remember. It was physiotherapy and other such assorted treatments from a very young age, the excuse being 'don't you wish to be ok?' 'walk?' 'run?' 'play cricket?' etc. At other times it was ridicule, the louder I cried the vicious the ridicule. I can't say how much such treatments helped me physically but, it surely helped me in braving the pain silently and learning to ignore it all together. I became detached from my body so to speak (this isn't a high funda thing as it sounds but a practical thing that happens naturally, so, now I feel that my b***t has gone numb still I can go on typing this without much fuss).

Heartache or emotional hurt is a different matter. You can read lots of self-help and how-to books or follow any spiritual guru, but, when it comes you're left to your own devices. There is/was (I'm not sure) a streak of depression in me that would take me brink often, it could be anything, sometimes something that may seem absolutely silly.

In the last few days there were couple of instances that I feared (they weren't silly for me, not even in hindsight) would take me to the brink or at least it would take me a few days to be back to normal. But, to my surprise I was back to normal in just a few hours on both the occasions. And, to top it up I can think of those incidents without any uneasiness. I have also thought about how my brain was working during those hours to see if there was any peculiar pattern that was followed.

I'm getting a few answers from this process. The best of them maybe that my heart too learning to endure pain without hampering my capability to work, otherwise I couldn't have written this post.


Alexis said...

Paresh, buddy, I can completely understand what you are saying. Your conclusion is absolutely right--both body and mind learn to endure pain and as the pain increases so does the pain threshold. Take care.

Anonymous said...

I have been a silent reader of your blog foor the most part, Paresh but this post somehow touches a part of me I had long since assumed 'numb' to the point of non-existence.

Be well.....